In breaking news it has been revealed that the Australian Government has employed a new public relations manager. The new role will be known as the Information Minister, yet strangely enough the role will not be filled by an elected official but will be a hand picked appointee. It was announced this morning that the role will be filled by Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf.
If that name is familiar to you, it should be. Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf came to international attention during the 2003 invasion of Iraq, at that time he was the Iraqi Minister of Information. During the initial invasion, Al-Sahhaf gave daily press conferences. He was renowned for his accuracy of reporting and the ability to get clear, unbiased information out to the world and Iraqi people.
Memorable moments of his career include such quotes as "They are not in Baghdad. They are not in control of any airport. I tell you this. It is all a lie. They lie. It is a Hollywood movie. You do not believe them." At another time he said "Today I have visited whole Baghdad city, no invaders found. You go and see how we have ousted them from this city. They are crying outside and waiting to receive bullets. They will be killed shortly." this was said as US tanks were rolling down the streets a couple of blocks from his press conference.
Mr Rudd has announced his appointment saying that due to the Australian public's desire for information we have reached a point where a full time information liaison is needed and that Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf is the most qualified for this role. All future questions on policy must be directed to the new Minister, Mr Rudd and his government will no longer be making any form of public announcement.
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf has hit the ground running stating that all insulation fires were not actually taking place, that the media was using file footage from the Hollywood movie "Backdraft". He has assured the public that we are in a state of emergency, "the advertisements produced by the mining companies are expressing an opinion which is contrary to Mr Rudd, such expression and rational thought is confronting and dangerous and must be stopped." Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf will be making daily announcements on all policy issues until Mr Rudd believes that the public has understood that he knows best and ceases asking questions.
For further information on Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf please see, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_Saeed_al-Sahhaf http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment